Lately I’ve noticed that many mothers I talk to are really open and forthright about all of the areas in life in which they feel that they are struggling. Yet I find them very private — almost silent -- about the areas in which they believe that they are thriving and doing well. And although I admittedly run with a pretty modest, amazing and humble group of women I feel there is more to this than a spirit of meekness coming through.
I have recently been thinking about how it is so easy to focus on what we as mothers are failing at, not getting done or letting fall to the wayside and really difficult for us to celebrate that which we have become experts at.
But in the spirit of spring, newness and fresh beginnings, why not turn over a new leaf? This spring, choose to cultivate a new sort of seed in the garden of life that you are currently tending!
Perhaps we feel that it is not in spirit of selfless motherhood to speak of the areas in which we are thriving. Motherhood is humbling. Most of us with even a few days of mothering under our belts can attest to that. And what an amazing thing it is to have a circle of trusted friends in which to share these fears, failings and shortcomings.
There comes a time when we each need to acknowledge that we have something to offer to our families, our friends and ourselves, because we have spent weeks, months or years experiencing it and have so very much to share. It is not that we have arrived at the destination or even attained the life lesson that may be ours for the taking in the end, but that because of our strivings, yearnings and visions we have grasped something that at one time seemed unattainable, perhaps even daunting.
We are always looking around us for inspiration, whether we realize it or not. We are hard-wired to be curious about how others are living their lives, what books our friends are reading, how other women have birthed their babies, what our neighbors are having for supper that night.
I believe it has nothing to do with nosiness and everything to do with meeting that deep need for living a fulfilling and beautiful life. I believe that we are all looking to become better human beings and better mothers and that our relationships with other people, especially other mothers, provide vital support in helping us succeed on this journey.
Whether through a mentor, a friend, or a sneak peak at another’s life blueprint, it is a deep need that each of us possesses. It is one that we can become so hungry for if it is not being met in our day-to-day life. It has the power to bring us out lurking on the blogosphere late at night after our children are tucked snugly into bed for a quick ‘hit’ of encouragement, inspiration — a fueling if you will– for the next day.
Remember that a mentor doesn’t have to be someone who has completed the journey that we are currently on but that they simply need to be a bit further down the road than we are. Who wouldn’t want to come into contact with someone who has gone before us and has a bit to share in the way of information, insight and encouragement!
Is that person you? For certainly each of has something to offer the next!
Ask yourself:
:: What do my friends and family ask for advice on time and time again?
:: What comes easily for me?
:: What have I experienced so many times that I have learned something from it?
:: Where am I choosing to spend my quality time?
:: What energizes me instead of depletes me that others may find to be an exhausting experience?
:: How am I thriving?
Taking some time to ponder these questions and to celebrate what we are doing right in life can really change one’s perspective. It can help to lend a sense of purpose and give the confidence and joy that is needed to continue striving and carrying on as we journey through this experience of motherhood.
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Jill Houle lives in Connecticut with her husband and four homeschooled children. She strives to find beauty in the mundane, dreams of a homestead life, a spare moment to create and write and seeks to live out her life’s vision with intention and grace each day. You can find her at Home Grown Life.